This post may just serve to be a food for thought kind of thing.
I had a great weekend at EWA13 (Empowered Weekend Away) , and I'm just sad that it ended soo quickly. Well, for me, when it comes towards the end of a great camp, I can't help but to notice that some people are very ' on the spot ' while some are just, the side people, to fill up the space and creates the atmosphere.
The feeling is just there, as if the song 'Creep' by Radiohead says it all. I can't help thinking, these group of people are soo much better than me and I really do look up to them. But I never get to be the one to shine and all. Maybe there are times when I do but it is soo shortlived, like after that, no one ever talks about it anymore and life just goes on.
The food for thought part for this rant is, did God plan our life to be like this? To be the 'side people' always giving support and only there when need be?? Didn't we have our own spotlights in our own life as in we're the main character of our own life?? If so, then what or when is it really my turn to shine in other people's point of view???
But my reasoning brain's answer is this: It is up to us to decide really. It's up to our effort. As in, to be rocking on stage and have your talents shine, it's up to you to take up guitar lessons and training yourself to be that good, or to be dancing in the middle of an estatic crowd because you had pushed youself to learn dance skills. And it is true to a certain point, and that's when.
And that little voice in my head says, "Be prepared with it when opportunity arises. You may not know when but it will come, like the coming of Christ and such, but it will come one day, and that time, just bask yourself in that spotlight."
Cheers~
Friday, February 1, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
I know it's kind of a little late, but I feel that 2013 is gonna be a great year. Am feeling good about what's gonna happen and I really feel that hopes and dreams will fill in the blanks of my life. Hopefully it really does come true.
If you've been following and reading my depressing posts last time, I had a dream to be a pilot. Of course, this wasn't really on my mind last time. If you'd asked me when I was in Form 3 (15 years old) , I would say I want to be either an Engineer or a Videographer. But my dad made me change my mind by allowing me to choose Aviation. So as of now, I have 2 achievement I would liked to fulfill.
Why I wanted to be a pilot was because of the travelling, mostly. I don't get to travel alot growing up and seriously, I've never been out of Malaysia. I'm like super excited to see the outside world. The other reason was I know I can't get tied down to a boring job and flying seems fun with the feeling of being free up in the sky. It may sound childish but yes, it is my reason no matter what.
So my first achievement is to become a pilot and work until I'm super rich (or enough for the rest of my life). As of lately, this dream is becoming more and more blurry as you all may know, getting a job as a pilot is not easy. But I'll follow my dad's advice which is to worry about the job when you've reached there. For now focus on applying through airlines and flying academy, which is what I've been doing (researching and stuff) for the past 2 months. I've recently applied for AirAsia's cadetship once more, hopefully I can pass their exams and be bonded with them after I finish the training there :)
Secondly, if all goes well with being a pilot, after getting all the money, I will setup a photography and videography studio. I fell in love with both photography and videography during my high school days, but I never get the chance to really polish my skills because, well... cameras are fucking expensive. But I know it is something that I can venture through if I've got the money and I have confidence with my perspective. So these 2 dreams are considered my long term life goals.
God please help me through this. But if He has a bigger and better picture for me, why not right? I'll just have to follow what He thinks it's best for me. Still , these are the things that I wanna do and hopefully, I will fulfill it :)
If you've been following and reading my depressing posts last time, I had a dream to be a pilot. Of course, this wasn't really on my mind last time. If you'd asked me when I was in Form 3 (15 years old) , I would say I want to be either an Engineer or a Videographer. But my dad made me change my mind by allowing me to choose Aviation. So as of now, I have 2 achievement I would liked to fulfill.
Why I wanted to be a pilot was because of the travelling, mostly. I don't get to travel alot growing up and seriously, I've never been out of Malaysia. I'm like super excited to see the outside world. The other reason was I know I can't get tied down to a boring job and flying seems fun with the feeling of being free up in the sky. It may sound childish but yes, it is my reason no matter what.
So my first achievement is to become a pilot and work until I'm super rich (or enough for the rest of my life). As of lately, this dream is becoming more and more blurry as you all may know, getting a job as a pilot is not easy. But I'll follow my dad's advice which is to worry about the job when you've reached there. For now focus on applying through airlines and flying academy, which is what I've been doing (researching and stuff) for the past 2 months. I've recently applied for AirAsia's cadetship once more, hopefully I can pass their exams and be bonded with them after I finish the training there :)
Secondly, if all goes well with being a pilot, after getting all the money, I will setup a photography and videography studio. I fell in love with both photography and videography during my high school days, but I never get the chance to really polish my skills because, well... cameras are fucking expensive. But I know it is something that I can venture through if I've got the money and I have confidence with my perspective. So these 2 dreams are considered my long term life goals.
God please help me through this. But if He has a bigger and better picture for me, why not right? I'll just have to follow what He thinks it's best for me. Still , these are the things that I wanna do and hopefully, I will fulfill it :)
Monday, January 7, 2013
Started the New Year with a BANG, like literally....
Hey guys. It's 4a.m. in the morning and I couldn't sleep. So I decided to write about my recent accident, which I can get into a serious injury if not for the last millisecond reflexes. So I decided to just summarize the story from what I did before it happen.
One of my classmate invited me to watch Les Miserables with him. He decided to hang out with me because he said he never did. And so, he picked me up, went for a small dinner at Hui Sing hawker stall area and then to The Spring.
The movie started at around 10p.m. and the movie was 2 and a half hours long. No biggie, it was a nice movie, with actors whom I was surprised to see, singing. Literally, who knew Wolverine, Gladiator and Catwoman can sing? Lol. So after the movie, I was sent back home and I told my friend that after that, I had to go over to Pius' place to finish a video for the first Youth Gathering of the year that time.
And so, upon reaching home, I pack my bags, my PC and anything necessary. Moved the cars around and then drove off. I was in a rush (my bad) but I wasn't driving that fast (60-80 is not considered fast for me, sorry to say, but yea, it was around that speed) and at that time, it was drizzling and obviously the road was wet.
So I used my usual course to go to Pius' place and upon reaching the 3rd mile roundabout, I go straight into the underground tunnel. By that time, I feel something was off. I was at the left lane, and knowing that the underground tunnel road was bending to the left, I followed the road, trying to be at the left lane when suddenly, my car skid straight and into the right lane. I quickly tried to control the car back and manage to but then, it skidded again the second time, this time going to the left lane.
My instinct says I should hit the brake at that time and so I did, but the car skidded AGAIN, now to the right side and hit the divider (which made my front right tyre burst open) and I saw for that 5 seconds of my life, everything happened soo fast. I hit the yellow chinese sign with red chinese letterings (it is a small sign, but I bet that anyone who uses that road will know what I'm talking about), I was still at the divider and right in front of my, I can see the lamp post right in front of me and my car is still moving forward! At that moment, I turned my wheels to the left to at least avoid hitting the lamp post, but it hit the front right side of the car, which I really am thankful for because I might get a head on collision with the lamp post.
After hitting the lamp post, my car stopped, at the right lane of the road, at the part where it was about to come out from the tunnel. In my mind, I was like, "SHIT! I'm sooo (excuse my language) fucking screwed!" And worse still, when I reach for my phone in my pocket, I realised "I LEFT MY FRIGGIN PHONE AT HOME" while I was in the rush of putting all the things I need in the car!!
Thankfully, there was a motorcyclist who was very kind to me by lending me his phone and the first thing I did was calling my brother, because I did not want to disturb my parents because they had to go to work the next day but yea, in the end, they are the ones who came and help me.
Well, right after what happened, my parents called for a tow truck and I moved my things into their car and asked them to send me to Pius' place and finished the video that was needed. But I was feeling guilty and traumatized the whole day because the car can only be fixed by the end of the month and I'm suppose to use that car up for the coming EWA camp. Not only that, I felt guilty the entire day for my dad because it was his car that I crashed but thank God, money was covered by insurance.
So, after this incident, I realised that human life is VERY fragile and I'm lucky to get away from this accident without a scratch (but I did get a small bruise)
I promise to try to keep this blog alive after this, as who knows what interesting things will happen to me in the future :P till then, see ya!
One of my classmate invited me to watch Les Miserables with him. He decided to hang out with me because he said he never did. And so, he picked me up, went for a small dinner at Hui Sing hawker stall area and then to The Spring.
The movie started at around 10p.m. and the movie was 2 and a half hours long. No biggie, it was a nice movie, with actors whom I was surprised to see, singing. Literally, who knew Wolverine, Gladiator and Catwoman can sing? Lol. So after the movie, I was sent back home and I told my friend that after that, I had to go over to Pius' place to finish a video for the first Youth Gathering of the year that time.
And so, upon reaching home, I pack my bags, my PC and anything necessary. Moved the cars around and then drove off. I was in a rush (my bad) but I wasn't driving that fast (60-80 is not considered fast for me, sorry to say, but yea, it was around that speed) and at that time, it was drizzling and obviously the road was wet.
So I used my usual course to go to Pius' place and upon reaching the 3rd mile roundabout, I go straight into the underground tunnel. By that time, I feel something was off. I was at the left lane, and knowing that the underground tunnel road was bending to the left, I followed the road, trying to be at the left lane when suddenly, my car skid straight and into the right lane. I quickly tried to control the car back and manage to but then, it skidded again the second time, this time going to the left lane.
My instinct says I should hit the brake at that time and so I did, but the car skidded AGAIN, now to the right side and hit the divider (which made my front right tyre burst open) and I saw for that 5 seconds of my life, everything happened soo fast. I hit the yellow chinese sign with red chinese letterings (it is a small sign, but I bet that anyone who uses that road will know what I'm talking about), I was still at the divider and right in front of my, I can see the lamp post right in front of me and my car is still moving forward! At that moment, I turned my wheels to the left to at least avoid hitting the lamp post, but it hit the front right side of the car, which I really am thankful for because I might get a head on collision with the lamp post.
After hitting the lamp post, my car stopped, at the right lane of the road, at the part where it was about to come out from the tunnel. In my mind, I was like, "SHIT! I'm sooo (excuse my language) fucking screwed!" And worse still, when I reach for my phone in my pocket, I realised "I LEFT MY FRIGGIN PHONE AT HOME" while I was in the rush of putting all the things I need in the car!!
Thankfully, there was a motorcyclist who was very kind to me by lending me his phone and the first thing I did was calling my brother, because I did not want to disturb my parents because they had to go to work the next day but yea, in the end, they are the ones who came and help me.
Well, right after what happened, my parents called for a tow truck and I moved my things into their car and asked them to send me to Pius' place and finished the video that was needed. But I was feeling guilty and traumatized the whole day because the car can only be fixed by the end of the month and I'm suppose to use that car up for the coming EWA camp. Not only that, I felt guilty the entire day for my dad because it was his car that I crashed but thank God, money was covered by insurance.
So, after this incident, I realised that human life is VERY fragile and I'm lucky to get away from this accident without a scratch (but I did get a small bruise)
I promise to try to keep this blog alive after this, as who knows what interesting things will happen to me in the future :P till then, see ya!
Monday, September 17, 2012
Am I still here??? *Much needed updates*
*cough*cough*!!! Phew! It's soo dusty in here eyh? It's been a long time since I wrote or express my feeling in this special place of mine where only people who (must be REALLY REALLY bored) are really interested in my life.
Well, where to begin? Let's see. As anyone might know, I'm in my last year of form 6. Currently undergoing the usual "public exam" stress. Surprisingly, even with the stress from school, I can't believe people around me still throws crap at me from relationships. Yes, they should really not do that since I'm at the point of breakdown (well, everyone else in the class seems so, except for the smartest guy in class *cough*Alex*cough*) and I really think of just get over with life sometimes....... nah, won't commit suicide that easily. But still, a lesson for everyone is that to never (and I say it again), NEVER throw crap at people who are coping with stress.
Well, in order to cope with this, I kinda took abit of a habit, SMOKING. (don't judge me =.=) NOT REGULARLY... just, few times a month. Yes, it took alot of guts to confess it right here, where it is bound to be read by some people from school and starts spreading like wildfire. Well, I can't play games cos I will feel guilty after that instead of studying, and some people are commenting harshly on the fact that I played some games during the break, so I guess this was the only option. Unless you have a better way for me to try, don't bother lecturing me =.=
And also, yes, my birthday is coming up. Not telling when, so check for yourself. And speaking of birthday, a song came into my mine... Mr.Curiosity - Jason Mraz. It relates alot because of the lyrics, well I'm looking for love, but no one seems available at the moment, or maybe I'm subconciously not ready. Oh well, fate will tell.
So that's my well being so far. I really really wanna maintain this site so that I can continue to post up rants and all. Lately, relationship issues has been giving me the unnecessary stress, but more to that next time (that's if I'm not over it). Sorry for a boring post without pictures or moving pictures or naked pictures... Seeya next time!
Well, where to begin? Let's see. As anyone might know, I'm in my last year of form 6. Currently undergoing the usual "public exam" stress. Surprisingly, even with the stress from school, I can't believe people around me still throws crap at me from relationships. Yes, they should really not do that since I'm at the point of breakdown (well, everyone else in the class seems so, except for the smartest guy in class *cough*Alex*cough*) and I really think of just get over with life sometimes....... nah, won't commit suicide that easily. But still, a lesson for everyone is that to never (and I say it again), NEVER throw crap at people who are coping with stress.
Well, in order to cope with this, I kinda took abit of a habit, SMOKING. (don't judge me =.=) NOT REGULARLY... just, few times a month. Yes, it took alot of guts to confess it right here, where it is bound to be read by some people from school and starts spreading like wildfire. Well, I can't play games cos I will feel guilty after that instead of studying, and some people are commenting harshly on the fact that I played some games during the break, so I guess this was the only option. Unless you have a better way for me to try, don't bother lecturing me =.=
And also, yes, my birthday is coming up. Not telling when, so check for yourself. And speaking of birthday, a song came into my mine... Mr.Curiosity - Jason Mraz. It relates alot because of the lyrics, well I'm looking for love, but no one seems available at the moment, or maybe I'm subconciously not ready. Oh well, fate will tell.
So that's my well being so far. I really really wanna maintain this site so that I can continue to post up rants and all. Lately, relationship issues has been giving me the unnecessary stress, but more to that next time (that's if I'm not over it). Sorry for a boring post without pictures or moving pictures or naked pictures... Seeya next time!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Lots of thinking to do
Wish there's a thinking cap sold around. Really need one to make up my mind on what to do in life. So far what scares me most is to not know what to do in life. It's not that I don't have ambitions, but it's just I have soo many things that I want to do, but I only can choose one.
One of the dreams I really like to pursue is Piloting.
Sadly, I have a low self-esteem issue on this as Piloting in real life is not really a course like a degree or whatsoever. It's not even a Pre-U education. Technically, it's just a license you get and with that license you can fly for any airline that is short handed on pilots. Plus, the fee for the license is remarkably outstanding. It can cost up to half the price of a house... Imagine that. But I really do put some hope in this by asking friend's parents who worked in the airline industries for help and all. At least if I can get the money to pursue this, I won't have to continue Form 6.
The second best choice for now to think about would be Mass Communications.
But seriously. I don't mind the job and all, but it's not soo much of stress-free job. I'm editting videos for my youth ministry and that is already stressful enough. Why bother doing something that put stress on myself you may ask? Maybe because I already have some basic knowledge over it and it will be easy in terms of experiences. But yea, it is still something to consider.
Oh well. It's not like only myself go through the problem. I guess lots of other people went through that as well and some even soul search on what they want to do. But I really respect those who really know what they really want in life.
So for those who really know what they are doing, congrats. But for those who're in the same boat as me, or almost in the same boat as me, maybe you can share about it :) Not everyone go through their life in a smooth sail.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Updates of a Million Hours ever since... well the last post
Hello there... It's been awhile... Like way over awhile. And soo, since it is like 8 more days to the end of 2011, I'll just summarize what I've been living through this year. First off, National Service (NS for short, or An Ass) . I left for the first batch NS in Negeri Sembilan (NS, what a coincidence?), Rembau in Kem Ulu Pari. Not knowing it was my senior's camp as well. Of well, it's a bitter sweet memory where I met some new friends and actually improve my mandarin little by little.
Next off, is the void of emptiness of not knowing what to do for about a month. Besides being back with Empowered Ministry (St. Joseph's Cathedral's Parish Youth Ministry), I felt like I wasted the time by not working and all. But I did busied myself with producing videos for ER and all.
Then, came the thing I fear most, Form 6. It's not that bad, but seriously, Don't ever trust yourself when you say you wanna go to Form 6. It's Hell, being an ASIAN and FAIL almost EVERY time is like being F*****. There begins my stress, and not only is it tiring, but my school (St.Joseph's Secondary school) has change tremendously ever since that ASS took over. And to top it off, sorry to say but the Prefectorial Board of the year after I left also changed alot. But oh well, what's done is done. Not my shit to clean anyways.
Moving on to the holidays then. Well, I did studied but it was only abit and I barely remember them. All because we're having exams when school reopens really Eff-ed up my holidays. It's like a mood spoiler. I decided to take a part time job (as a waiter) at my friend's place at The Spring Shopping Mall. Three letter word... WOW. The experience was actually great. It's fun, but sometimes boring. Maybe it's because my friend was there and he's like 'the boss' around and he let me have all the fun, but yea.. It was a good experience. After doing it of course I have few thingsto say about customers. Some are nice, some are plain dumb and some are just inhuman. For the nice ones, I have not much to say but just Thank You very much for treating us waiters and waitresses like humans. But for the dumb ones, I have nothing to say. Imagine someone ordered a toast and said, "It's dry, so it's not fresh". OF COURSE IT'S DRY, why is it called a toast?!?!?! Felt like slapping them for their stupidity sometimes, always think they know about stuff.
Oh well, That's pretty much I have for updates. Sorry for the LOOOONNNNGGG time of no updating and yea, don't really get that much time either when school starts again. I promise to update at least once every month. So till then :)
Next off, is the void of emptiness of not knowing what to do for about a month. Besides being back with Empowered Ministry (St. Joseph's Cathedral's Parish Youth Ministry), I felt like I wasted the time by not working and all. But I did busied myself with producing videos for ER and all.
Then, came the thing I fear most, Form 6. It's not that bad, but seriously, Don't ever trust yourself when you say you wanna go to Form 6. It's Hell, being an ASIAN and FAIL almost EVERY time is like being F*****. There begins my stress, and not only is it tiring, but my school (St.Joseph's Secondary school) has change tremendously ever since that ASS took over. And to top it off, sorry to say but the Prefectorial Board of the year after I left also changed alot. But oh well, what's done is done. Not my shit to clean anyways.
Moving on to the holidays then. Well, I did studied but it was only abit and I barely remember them. All because we're having exams when school reopens really Eff-ed up my holidays. It's like a mood spoiler. I decided to take a part time job (as a waiter) at my friend's place at The Spring Shopping Mall. Three letter word... WOW. The experience was actually great. It's fun, but sometimes boring. Maybe it's because my friend was there and he's like 'the boss' around and he let me have all the fun, but yea.. It was a good experience. After doing it of course I have few thingsto say about customers. Some are nice, some are plain dumb and some are just inhuman. For the nice ones, I have not much to say but just Thank You very much for treating us waiters and waitresses like humans. But for the dumb ones, I have nothing to say. Imagine someone ordered a toast and said, "It's dry, so it's not fresh". OF COURSE IT'S DRY, why is it called a toast?!?!?! Felt like slapping them for their stupidity sometimes, always think they know about stuff.
Oh well, That's pretty much I have for updates. Sorry for the LOOOONNNNGGG time of no updating and yea, don't really get that much time either when school starts again. I promise to update at least once every month. So till then :)
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
The pretty busy life , now and ahead till the end of next year
Yea, sorry for no updates in a LLLOOOONNNNGGG time.
SPM results , 5A's 5B's. no questions pl0x.
Anyways, landed in Form 6, and guess I'm gonna finish another chapter of school in my life. And yes, i admit it, It's damn hard. Like seriously hard.Even though we study some theories and actually understand it, it's more to application when we answer questions. And the questions are DEFINITELY not like the ones in textbooks.
Getting less time for myself as well. It's more to time management, so I've gotta grasp the skills in order to succeed. And yea, FINALLY got my license for around 2 weeks already, so have been driving to school ever since. :D Scary, but getting used to it, and yea, i can get lost sometimes == sooo bad with roads.... till next time then :D
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