The Seen And The Unseen.

*This is just a rant, and it has been bothering me lately, so just a food for thought for all of you, those who are always being seen, and those who are always in the shadows*        

           I always have this feeling of the world going on from where I am. It's like whatever I see with my eyes is really happening, and whatever that I don't see, can only be comfirm by word of mouth or the news. This bothered me sometimes about the things I do sometimes, and I don't get any witnesses around to see what I did, especially the good things. I know how we all talked about humility and being humble but do know this. God did not made each person to be mediocre. There has to be a limelight somewhere for each person. So I'm not wrong to say that people ARE MADE to be seen, acknowledged, and to be looked up to.

          I was having a discussion with someone the other day about life experiences and how it's different for everyone as everyone have different reactions towards things. My friend, who have been on stage, dancing, performing and had always been since our teenage years have NO PROBLEM with self-confidence of course and it shows in his way of conversations and the way he thinks as well. Me, on the other hand, had always have a problem with self-confidence. All through my life of hearing things like, "I don't think you can." , "Are you sure you can do this?" , "Your sister is just special." made me rethink of a life full of things I want to do but am afraid to because of criticism.

          Then, a thought came to my mind of how's the life of being the other person for once? Full of confidence, able to accomplish something and being praised, having people looked up to you and so on. How does it feel like? Will it make me feel excited because I have a certain set of skills I can do whenever I want to? Certainly. Will it make me happy to have people praising me for my efforts and skills? Definitely. But then, isn't that a life with more pressure already? But seriously though, I wouldn't mind switching for one day just to see how it feel like.

          I also thought of another thing. How do the people who are always basked in the limelight see the life of someone like me? Am I important to them? Some say yes. Do they envy the life that we live? Some agree because it's more relaxing. The question that comes next is "BUT WHY?." Seriously though... think about it. I think having a life where you're known to be good at something and being recognized for it is a good one. Are the unseen important to the seen? Well yes, because without the support of the unseen, they can never be seen. Without the unseen, there would be no one to be in awe of the seen. That's true to a point.

But deep down inside, sometimes I really wish I was seen. Not occasionally.

Being True to The Feels and Being Blessed With Friends.

          I told someone in choir the other day that men do have feelings too, and some chose to show it while most of us just hide behind our precious pride. It just show that I'm more human to feel things around, but to act on my feelings is another thing.
          

          There are times when things just go blatantly wrong and you question The One Above and yourself with the big letter "W". My story will be the Crazy Phone Story. It started with me getting a new phone, it's time to change as well and it's the first smartphone that I have. It's not so much as a "good" model considering it is in the "budget range" smartphone (I'm not that rich guys!) And so, there are ways to upgrade it through rooting (it's and Android phone), and seeing that it's not that smooth even though it's brand new, I decided to go through that.

          The feels start with the news that my Accountability Partner, Iain, is going to live in KL for 4 months for his internship for his Hotel Management diploma, and around the time I came back, it'll be a week gap before his day of flight. We couldn't really find time to hang out with each other so I only get to see him like for around 2 days, with the last day trying to fix my new phone after some rooting complications. His flight was at 7 in the morning last Saturday, and he manage to solve it by 4.10 in the morning. And I felt guilty because he's going to be tired the whole day, being afraid to sleep in the bus on the way to Bukit Bintang because he's a dead sleeper. But he did it for me, and I was quite happy and blessed to get a committed service, and free of charge.

          So that day, before his flight, one of our ministry elder, Ben, flew off to KK and with a connecting flight, flew to the Phillippines to further his studies in theology together with his wife and son, Sarah and Isaac at 6. Iain's flight was after theirs at 7. Then Edna's flight to KL at 9 to also further her studies in degree. It was a day of morning camping at the airport and full of emoness for everyone.

          Then 6 hours after that, the complication of my new rooted phone came back.... And when it happened, I died ALOT inside. The guilt, the feels. And right before mass. Imagine sitting through 10 hours doing the exact same thing for the phone and finally fixed it, then after that it came back, and it wasn't you who did all that but your close friend who will be super tired the next day knowing that but still helped you? And all you did was to bring back the problem? Super guilty ok...

          From this experience of mine, I can honestly say, the start of this year wasn't that great for me. Plus, I have to finish my assignments ASAP. My new phone is still dead, just figuring out how to solve it by myself. And I really thank Iain for his effort. It meant a lot to me. But I'm sorry for the trouble... really. HAHA. Blessed to have someone who cares about my gadgets for me.

So that is kind of the rough patch I'm going through now. Using a spare phone that doesn't support Whatsapp, so yea... life is.... sad... So till the next update of The Crazy Phone Story.

2014, be good to me.

Tis the season where people update blogs, knowing last year as if it was just yesterday....
Hello peeps! So glad to be writing this back in my hometown, in my room, comfortably laying down on my queen sized bed.

Anyways, a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!. Don't even get me started on New Year's Resolution. The only resolution I know is HDR, or 1080, or 720 - HD (lame joke).

So, updates...

1. Semester break.

I've finished my first semester in SAE Institute for my Diploma, and I'm back in Kuching, Sarawak until Chinese New Year (eve on the 30th January). My class was supposed to start on the 27th, but because it's like only a few days away from CNY, I decided to skip the 3 days for a longer holiday. 

2. Holidays aren't really about holidays anymore.

When you've reached this stage, you'd know what I meant by that statement above. I have to finish 2 assignments while I'm back here and I have to send one of my assignment using the courier service because it's due date is 29th of January. Plus, I have to worry about my expenditure because I spent more than I have to due to the case of my new phone, a story to be revealed at a latter time.

3. My expectations back here and the things that are going to happen.

I'm so gonna be broke if I don't find a solution to end my wallet's hunger. The problem was that I still have to do my assignments while at it. EWA is coming and it cost RM100... dunno why it got sooo expensive in the recent years. And also my Accountability Partner, IB won't be around while I'm back here because he'll be leaving to KL for his internship this coming Saturday. Well, hope that I'll be back for ER.

4. My expectations this year as a college student.

More financial crisis, more assignments, more datelines, and I have a slight fear that my laptop will not stand it until the end of this year. But I really hope it will be ok. It still doesn't leave a good feeling in my stomach because I heard the programs that are going to be used after this are quite heavy on the laptop, and most of my seniors recommended MAC. But I really hope this one stays as long as it can.

So here's to another great year ahead! Hope many good things will happen this year! More opportunities to come! Although the truth is, I'm just nearing my death sentence but ain't nobody got time for dat!