The Lost of Words

Sometimes, words doesn't matter any more, don't mean a thing, it's do it or don't say it. The meaning has crept into our generation, where we urge for something more to fill the void in our hearts.

I remembered last year before my foster brother left for studies here in Inti, we were close. Hang out a lot, talked a lot, basically doing almost everything that I could think of. Once he left, I concentrated on my studies while he did the same in his. We make it a point to continue to communicate, by text message, WhatsApp, even calls like almost everyday. Then it slowly die down, until there's totally no conversation at all, as if words has lost it's power. Where all texts and calls always end with "I'm busy" or "Studying now" or even the worse "no reply" at all. Even voice lost it's power, where a normal phone call could last for hours is cut down to 3 - 5 minutes just because "I'm tired" or "I'm busy".

We know that communication is important, thus words become an honest way to communicate to each other, to know how the other person is feeling, to explain something, or to tell a joke. Ultimately this comes down to bonding, and the sound of a person can be a form of physical presence of themselves. But it also seems that the real physical presence is in need in the equation.

From my experience above, after losing my friend in Form 2 due to leukemia, I find it hard to bond. He was the closest friend I've come to over those years, to the extent of making him my foster brother but it hit me hard because the change is soo dramatic. From the experience I learn to let go, accept changes, and moved on. It's only fair. And it's also a learning experience to go through what he did when I started college. The funny thing is, I know deep down inside, things would never be the same.

It saddens me on how people take communication between one another for granted. Having the chance to go out for drinks together, just chilling with someone you cherished in life, is already a big reward for me. The time you spent on a person is the greatest gift, for you can never get it back, but only to be cherished as memories.

But it has come to the point of words mean nothing any more. Where the questions asked are always "How are you?" and you want to answer honestly but can't because you fear they don't understand your situation. It has crept to everyone and almost everyone are ignorant about it.

If one of the closest person in your life whom you recently or in a very long time have not talk to each other and in honest situation, would you regret it if life suddenly seeps out from them, and you never have the chance to tell them how you fell about them??

I know I have been through it.